doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
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Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
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I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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