If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
