STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
