As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
