and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
