after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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