Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
