she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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