You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
