you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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