i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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