chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just want to make out with him forever
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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