Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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