I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this will be a night to untag.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
