We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
