What did we do last night that was yellow?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
