haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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