Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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