I heard we made out
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
