Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
