I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
