her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
