No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
