i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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