And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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