Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
