I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
