no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
