Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Pants are for mortals
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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