Do vagina's smell?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
