There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
