White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
