you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
