Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
