I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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