But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
