at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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