i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
