Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
