when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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