Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
