When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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