I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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