i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
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He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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