they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
