i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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