is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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