i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
