Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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