420 ftw
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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