wakey wakey hands off snakey
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
