Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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