This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
