Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
