did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
