She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
