so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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