New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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