the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
