Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
