so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
