i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
